Monday, June 3, 2013

What Does Running Mean to Me?

I was asked earlier this last weekend if I would do a piece for the Run For Boston 5K Blog about what running means to me.  I of course agreed.  Here it is.

What does running mean to me? For most people running means health benefits like weight loss and stress relief. Non-runners would think that one runs as a means to achieve the aforementioned benefits, and in the beginning that is what it meant to me. But things change. My running journey began in early 2010 on a treadmill in my basement. To fully explain what running means to me, I have to give you a little background so you can understand the importance of running in my life. My journey began due to a life changing experience when I was an adolescent.My life changing experience was being diagnosed with cancer. That cancer took many things from me. Cancer destroyed my fitness as well as my self-esteem. Being asked what running means to me ultimately brings me back to high school when I could not "run" the mile in physical education, because I was so out of shape from being sick. I think it was that not being able to run the mile that planted the seed to start running years later. Let’s fast forward now 24 years,long story short Dan 2, cancer 0.  I beat that cancer 24 years ago, but the effects would be long term.
After being out of treatment a couple years I gained weight, got lazy, and became dependent on the creature comforts so many people fall into and get trapped by. I felt like I deserved to be comfortable. The whole time deep down inside I knew the truth full well, that I was terribly out of shape, and overweight. It made me think of the saying “If you’re comfortable, you’re not really living”.  I decided it was time for a change. That change would come in the form of running. I started running as a means to cure being overweight and my unhealthiness. It was immensely hard when I first started running regularly, I did not have a group or support, and I needed something to keep me going.  I would often reflect back on my days when I was sick for motivation. Slowly but surely I started seeing a difference.  The more I ran the more the "benefits" became apparent, which made running worth it. The more I ran, the more capable I became, setting goals, and slowly replacing bad habits with good habits as a way to help me reach my aspirations.My final goal (a secret) was to run a marathon, which I ultimately completed on 1-09-2011. When I completed that marathon, I thought that my journey had ended,this is where running really left its mark. What does running mean to me? Yes it means weight loss, stress relief, and health benefits. I now realize that these are not why I run, they are just side effects of running, I have learned that all of the things I thought I was sacrificing to run, really were not sacrifices, most were weaknesses and things that truly were no good to me.Running does not just physically make you stronger, but it makes you tougher both emotionally and mentally.
The weeks after running my first marathon we confusing, I felt a depression sink in.  There was emptiness inside me when I stopped training. I did not understand this emptiness. I had reached my goal of 26.2, but I felt somewhat unfulfilled, like my journey was not over.Since then I have run 6 more marathons, and numerous half marathons. I have realized that my journey was not about achieving a marathon, and it was not about what started me running in the first place. To me running is about constantly teaching me about myself. Most people really think they know themselves. I don’t buy that.  We need to define ourselves by drawing out our weaknesses and addressing them. Then you will truly know who you are. I was pretty ashamed of how lazy I was before I started running. Running has taught me that I have much strength, but it has humbled me, given me purpose.  It has given me the opportunity to help others by running for causes.  It has lead me to help others start their journey by starting a running club.Running has given me purpose and clarity when I needed it, and continues to do so.
What does running mean to me? Plain and simple it means life. Which brings me to a quote I heard….

In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away- shing xiong

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